‘I could not live with myself and be content if I quit’: Portland Thorns’ Nicole Payne’s ACL story

Published by

Jack McRae

on

29th Apr 2025

_{^{‘There’s so much I want to accomplish. Now is not the time to hang up the cleats,” says Nicole Payne. Photograph: Provided by Portland Thorns}}

“I had flashbacks a little bit,” Nicole Payne says of the moment she crashed into the Angel City player. It was Portland Thorns’ first Coachella Valley pre-season game and an all too familiar feeling shot through Payne’s knee as she fell to the floor. “I honestly never thought it would happen to me again.”

Nine years on from when Payne first injured her anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), she could not believe her other knee had suffered the same fate. “I’ve tried as hard as I can to prevent it from happening again as much as possible, but sometimes there’s no explanation for what happened,” she sighs.

The 24-year-old from Alabama capped 10 times for Nigeria had been hoping to build on a strong campaign with the Thorns following a permanent switch from Paris Saint-Germain in July 2024. Looking to emulate her older sister, Everton and Nigeria forward Toni Payne, the Thorns right-back has been confronted with a major set-back.

“I worked really hard to prepare for this season, and I didn’t even get to really enjoy the start of it – that’s what hurt the most,” Payne rues. “I am a little more optimistic this time, knowing the ropes of recovery, but it is hard. Although you get back to playing, you always hope that it doesn’t happen again. That’s one of the harder roadblocks.”

Having been through the torment of rehabilitation as a teenager, Payne knows she is over the worst having had her surgery two months ago.

“Right after the operation, you can’t do much and you need people helping you all the time, that makes it harder. When you can be a little bit more independent, that’s where it starts to trend upwards towards the better and brighter days,” she smiles. “I look forward to those moments. You need to look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel, and that’s what gets you moving every day.”

Remaining positive is key to the recovery – you cannot control the speed of your recovery, but you can remain upbeat about your eventual return. Payne explains that this “is how to get your mindset to be able to tackle it all.”

Nicole Payne ACL — *_{^{Payne draws inspiration from other players, including her sister. Photograph: Provided by Portland Thorns.}}*

The defender also draws inspiration from the swathes of elite female footballers who have suffered the injury and bounced back stronger. “Those things stick in my mind when it comes to doubts and thoughts that aren’t the most positive. I have to go back to those moments,” she says.

The cruel commonplace ACL injuries have in women’s sport has affected the Thorns deeply. Payne was injured on 16 February and her team-mate Marie Müller tore her ACL three days later on international duty with Germany.

Any injury to the knee sparks agonising fear; everyone is aware of the potential severity of an ACL injury. “That’s just how it goes, anytime a player goes down holding their knee, people just prepare for the worst,” Payne says. “Immediately after the game, I had friends who play in different teams, different leagues, reach out and just give their condolences.

“It really means a lot. Everyone knows how impactful this type of injury is and those messages show people are rooting for you and they’re waiting for you to come back better and stronger. That gives you hope that, in the end, things will work out, things will be okay.”

Payne finds comfort in familiar surroundings too. She had the same surgeon who operated on her knees when she was 15 and 24, she is completing her early rehabilitation in her home state and has a strong collective of coaches and physios with the Thorns to support her. How would she have coped had she suffered such an injury when she was playing in Paris?

She pauses for thought, before replying: “Being able to be closer to home is really helpful. It would definitely be difficult to go through this type of injury on your own with minimal support.”

There is no greater support than her own sister. Toni Payne has carved an impressive career for herself in Europe, playing for Ajax, Sevilla and now Everton, as well as earning 24 caps for Nigeria, and is a wise head to guide her younger sister.

“She has played a really big role in helping me with the injury. I was a little bit more worried when I injured it this time because I am a little bit older,” Payne explains. “But she reminds me that I still have a lot of time. I’m still relatively young and it’s really all in the timing. She’s been helpful in helping me realise and see that.”

The Everton forward has charted a path for Payne to follow. She explains how, “the game was growing when Toni entered the pro world and there was a little bit of uncertainty. Seeing how she’s been able to play in the leagues that she’s played in and perform really well, it’s very inspirational for me to see.”

Payne has big dreams she wants achieve with the Torns and Nigeria. Photograph: Provided by Portland Thorns. — *_{^{Payne has big dreams to achieve with the Torns and Nigeria. Photograph: Provided by Portland Thorns.}}*

She smiles when the 2024 Paris Olympics is mentioned – the Payne sisters shared the pitch for Nigeria against Spain and Japan. “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to play with my sister on the world stage. It is really surreal,” Payne explains. “It’s definitely very sentimental. We’re six years apart, but we’re extremely close.

“It’s been a blessing to be able to play with her and have her guidance. It’s been amazing getting to learn from her, follow her footsteps and share the experiences we’ve had with the national team together. It’s been awesome.”

Months after such a high, could plummeting to such a bitter low caused by injury have deterred Payne from wanting to return?

She is adamant and defiant. “No, honestly, never. It was always ‘the road to recovery starts now.’ I don’t think I’d ever be able to live with myself and be content if I quit not knowing what my potential is,” Payne says. “Physically and mentally, it is a lot and I definitely understand [quitting]. But there’s just so much I want to accomplish, and now is not the time to hang up the cleats.”

Amongst those dreams are a Championship with the Thorns and an even bigger stage on the horizon. “I can’t wait to be back with the Thorns and I wish I could be out there playing with them now. I know next season will be a really big one, especially with the World Cup coming up as well in 2027.” Payne says. “I was blessed to be able to go to the Olympics, but it’s always been a dream of mine to play in a World Cup.”

With next season the goal for Payne’s return, she knows she has time to be fit and ready for the World Cup. But does she fear facing another ACL injury?

“You always will have that thought in the back of your mind, every single player does, but you have to give it your all. It’s a thought, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a fear,” she says.

Despite the vicious setback, Payne has an unwavering determination to remain optimistic – even if she admits she may be an outlier.

“I don’t know if that sounds a little bit crazy, but I don’t want to live in fear for the rest of my career,” she says before adding, in a message to herself just as much me: “This is what I’m gonna do, and I’m gonna give it my all.”

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